God’s intervention in marital vows and individual lives is magical. Marriage with God’s blessings becomes rock solid and cannot be broken by anything.
Marriage is the all-time favourite hot topic of everyone’s mother! Don’t we all daughters, cowering not to get grabbed into this pond, worry for the same? There is always a point where you all feel like failing to convince your mother that marriage is not for you.
In fact, this topic is so uneasy that it makes me squeamish too!
Who wants to get married when you feel like you have so much to discover and explore?
But due to lockdown or say in this pandemic, mothers get the opportunity to search for a perfect partner. Well, some of us excuse that they don’t have anything else to pass their time. That’s so much truer if they are housewives or working from home.
Note: realising now how stupid it is to stay at home!!
I am sure most of you would agree with me that our moms have become extra enthusiastic about marrying us off. And it would not even be a shocker if our male readers jump on this bandwagon.
So, today, I am bringing you to this point where I have clean, clear, and hot tips straight from the oven!
Did I say oven?
Oh well, so be it. Oven or my mind—it is all the same thing these days!
Read these points below and get going to convince your mother not to marry you off any time soon. These points worked for me and others like magic. Try it out readers—there’s no harm at all.
10 Hot Tips To Convince Your Mother To Forget About Your Marriage During Or Post Lockdown!
1. Have a solid excuse ready up on your sleeves!
You can avoid any such unwanted responsibility in your life through a solid excuse. It should be believable. Don’t be too cheesy or corny about it, though. For clarity, you ask your friends around. Know how they have managed to stay s
ingle after passing a certain age, considered suitable for marriage in India.
Your solid excuse to convince your mother for letting go of the idea to marry you off can be related to:
- A career that is still hanging in the middle of nowhere—literally!
- Financial problems or issues or needs
- Your dirty and smelly past!
These excuses can be common but still have more than 50 percent chance of working on your mother. She will understand. I don’t know the stats of the Indian men, but Indian women often pursue higher studies to avoid this topic.
So, yes, such an excuse is workable.
2. Have a fake boyfriend/girlfriend
To free yourself from trouble, make an excuse that you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. This diverts your mother’s attention from one topic to another. But you have to sound convincing enough. Figure out the personality of your fake partner in your mind before blurting it out to your mother.
Think about this partner’s ethnicity, job, income, liking/disliking, past/present/future. You have to cook a real and believable person in your head.
Convincing your mommy to chuck the idea of your marriage will be easier if she isn’t tech-savvy to check the facts you portray about your partner.
You can even show a random guy’s picture. So, if she wants to know more about your current but fake partner, get ready with all the details set in your mind. However, if she wants to meet them, again, you got to lie.
Make an excuse by saying that your partner needs time. Then, proceed with dilly-dallying the meet-up. Say that they are preparing themselves to talk to their parents about you both first.
When some time passes by, inform your mother that you two have broken-up. Listening to that, she might be in shock. But she should support you. She will give you enough time to get over your fake boyfriend/girlfriend.
Disclaimer: This plan might not work the same way described above for everyone reading this point. So, try this tip at your risk. I don’t know your mother, personally, after all.
Or, do I?
3. Run for your life if you fail to convince your mother, my readers!
The funniest tip to convince your mother to forget to think about your marriage is to flee from the room. Run or walk away straight from such a conversation. But do this only when you know that nobody is on the same page in the room.
When you know that your mother doggedly wants to marry you off without listening to your viewpoint, simply run away from the room.
The entire episode can be funny and dramatic at once. But it can play out to be serious too if your mother ends up arguing with you.
However, as the day ends, she will think you are not mature enough to talk about marriage yet. So, you will end saving yourself from the entire confrontation to start thinking about marrying someone.
4. Listen to your mother first before confronting her
I had to lay down this point immediately after giving you the point to avoid such a conversation. That’s because your rude behaviour can hurt your parents. And nobody wants to do that in their life. Parents are next to God in our lives, isn’t it?
So, as advice, I would say run but do not hurt your parents. If your mother is too sensitive about this topic, sit tight, and talk it out. This is the most challenging tip but if you have guts, do it. It’s better to be true than end up hurting those who are thinking about your stable future.
Plus, after marriage, responsibilities increase. This can hamper your career and personal life. You can make your mom realise that you are not that capable enough right now to handle all the responsibilities together.
Personally, I often run away with the relationship tag called “Marriage.” My parents know it now. Earlier, they were after me like anything when I turned 21-22. But, as I talked about it from my heart, they understood my dilemma in time.
If I can do it easily, so can you. Don’t you think so?
5. Fool her with unnecessary topics
If suddenly your mom arrives and starts discussing your marriage plans, start avoiding it entirely by discussing something else. You can divert your mom’s mind, at least for that moment. This is one trick that can busy her.
“Marriage is not just about love. It is more than that. It is about lifetime commitment and unconditional understanding.”
However, if you fail to divert her mood and attention, involve other members in your conversation. They must be present in the same room, though. This way, you can happily manipulate your way out of the marriage conversation. That’s because the other family member you mention in the middle would have to respond out of courtesy.
Otherwise, you can turn the conversation to an endless topic by talking about:
- Political controversies
- Latest Bollywood gossip/flick/song
- Neighbourhood gossip
- Facts of being single
- Third-world crises
6. Throw the legal jargon in the conversation to scare her
You can play with the mind when you know the behind marriage and mishaps related to the same.
You can inform your mom that it’s not the correct age for you to get married.
E.g., One of my friends got married when she was only 18. She has a baby too now. However, if my mom ever taunted or tortured me to get married at the age of 18, I would have either fainted or would have been forced to teach her law.
Even if you are at a legal age to get married, there are stats and reports about marriage and divorces to siphon from the internet. Tell her all that once in a while. It will start to scare her. She would know that cases for dowry, domestic violence, and divorces are rapidly increasing in the country.
You can turn her against early marriage if you introduce its negatives in the middle of such a conversation.
7. Apply for a course out of the city or state and inform her later
This might be one of the immature tips to follow. But give your career equal priority if you want to become something in life.
So, with the help of an already applied course out of station, city, or country, you can convince your mother to stop thinking about your marriage right now. You can tell her, “Only after I manage to get a good education, only then you find me a good marriage proposal or partner for the same.”
See her expression changing when you confess it out. Now, she won’t be able to do much either. You have already applied for the course or a job out of the current location.
No doubt, she will be furious and angry initially. However, if you pamper her with some love and positives of your decision, she will be proud of you.
After all, every mother wants to see her daughter/son grow immensely in life. You deserve it all. And if you think marriage is going to be an obstacle, you have to fight for your freedom. Nobody else would unless you voice it.
8. Ask for time genuinely
If you think no trick is going to work to convince your mother to chuck the idea of your marriage, be upfront and ask for time.
What’s wrong in asking for time?
Who says 18 or 21 or 25 or 27 is the right age to get married?
If you think the same way, you are on the right path to break the stereotype.
In short, tell your dear mother that you need time to prepare yourself for the new life. Also, you will need her support because adjusting to this life is never easy.
This conversation will be quite emotional on your mother’s part. Can be on yours too, depending on your personality. But it will be fun to talk to your mother without thinking twice.
As she’s your mother, she should understand that you need to have a mindset that you’re a grown-up now. You can be a male or a female here, and you would need that maturity.
It takes time to think for a single person that in no less than a year, they would be sharing their life with someone else. So, explain it clearly to your mother so that you both can be on the same page.
Note: I, too, had talked my mother out of this conversation. She thankfully spared me a few months without even talking about the prospect partner for life ahead.
9. Build a better relationship with your mother to bridge that generation gap
Sometimes, mothers are too eager when it comes to their daughter’s marriage. They fail to close that generation gap. That’s not much to worry about when you can make your parents understand your mindset or point of view.
You cannot hurry about it. It takes time to build a friendly bond with a mother with whom you have never opened up before.
In time, do some activities with your mother.
- Take her out for dinner/luncheon
- Play outdoor games with her
- Try cooking, cleaning, dusting with your mother
- Divide other normal tasks in and out of the house
- Surprise your mother with little and sweet gestures
- Let her take a day or so off from household chores
That’s one of the ways to touch her heart before you can talk to her realistically. After you know that you have a strong bond with her, tell her you cannot marry someone suddenly, without knowing them fully.
At this point, she will start to understand your mindset. After all, she has spent a tender moment of life with you. She has to know you up close to know where you are coming from when you tell her no to marriage with a stranger.
Afterward, when you think it’s time, gently ask your parents to guide you. This is best to have an easy conversation about your marriage.
It’s all about bringing your views to the table without hurting your parents. For that, you need the right time, a strong bond, and control over eccentric emotions compelling you to run away.
10. Take the help of others to convince your mother for not letting you marry
The last tip is the strongest. You will always get better results out of it. There must be someone in your mom’s life who listens to or values the most. This could be your father, brother, aunts/uncles, or grandparents.
So, one of the ways to convince your mother is to talk to them first. This way, you can come across as someone with a strong point. Ultimately, if you have the third party or person on your side, your mother will think twice about scaring you with regular “Marriage” talks.
If the third person interferes, whom she respects a lot more, she will understand that you are serious about not getting married this year.
However, you would have to be extra cautious explaining this third-person your genuine viewpoint. They must easily understand that you are not even one percent ready to dive into the endless abyss of arranged marriage.
After that, it’s a smooth sail to get inside your mother’s head.
11. Bonus Tip: See the prospect partner but reject them afterward
I have a classic tip to convince your mother to forget the idea of your marriage. Initially, agree to see the potential people for becoming your life partner.
Later, start making excuses.
- The area where the man/woman lives is far.
- They don’t look good enough with you.
- Their education isn’t what you are looking for in your partner.
- The person’s family isn’t going to be compatible with your ideologies.
When you keep rejecting for one reason or another, it can irritate your mother. But at least she won’t force you to say “Yes” to a certain someone.
————————————-My Thoughts & Yours Below ——————————–
My key learnings when I try to convince my mother:
I have talked to multiple married and single people before writing this blogpost in detail for my readers. I learnt that:
- You cannot marry anyone in a hurry.
- You need time as it is one holy commitment for your whole life.
- Divorce and ego clashes are the reality of modern marriages.
- Dysfunctional families are something we never talk about. Kids are regularly suffering in between their unhappy parents.
- Couples need maturity to live happily or sustainably together.
- You can convince your mother with patience, excuses, other family members, and heart-to-heart conversation without taking drastic steps.
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